Palms Up

Happy 24th Birthday sister.

parents are doing well. mother even bought ballons to send up to you today, but it was already dark when i got home so they’ll be late. pretty sure there was a cupcake involved as well. wish you could be here to enjoy it with us.

i always imagined you would have curly hair which dosen’t make since cause it dosen’t exist in our family. but when i  imagine what you would look like at 24…you’re beautiful. curly dark hair (resembling that of fathers genes), light brown eyes, really everything but the hair is from momma, tall, and your skin is a little darker than the rest of us. it’s fun that i have created all this from pictures and my imagination and other peoples memories. it’s funny that i feel connected to a sister i have never met. probably cause i see the impact you made on our family during those months you were here. it was a good, big impact. 

how great it would have been to have a sister only 5 years older than me. but i can’t complain. your death saved lives. hopefully those people are changing the world for the better. the Lord has been sweet to me. giving me friends that are basically sisters. even one whose birthday matches yours exactly [i like to think ya’ll would be BFFs, which you would]. i’m thankful for them. not that they take the place of you or my real sister, but they are more family like every time we hang out. and it’s nice to have them so close, at least for now. 

but this was all to say. i miss you sister. we would have had a lot of fun. but you’re rocking out with our Father and i’m jealous. but until my time comes, i’ll have to wait to meet you. so for now, happy 24th birthday Charissa, i love you. 

[i will wait]

did they have dreams? did they pursue them? did they go where they wanted to go? did they see what they wanted to see? did they give up? were they told dreaming is stupid and practicality is key? did they believe the lie that money is all that matters? did they get sucked into comfort? did they give up? do they understand that dreaming matters? that dreaming changes the world? 

what’s the age that dreams take a back seat to practicality? i see it all around me. adults doing the same routine daily, providing for their family, living comfortably, good things, but staying inside that comfort. not stepping out, not exploring, not going after crazy dreams that could change it all. did they ever want to do something more? did they ever dream of doing crazy things? when did they give up? 

i don’t know what my crazy dreams are yet (i have some ideas). but i do know that i want to go. i want to love people all over this world. i want to see things people dream about, big things and little. i want people to think i am crazy. i don’t want them to understand. i want my dreams to help people. i want my dreams to make people fall in love with the One who gives me dreams. i want to actively pursue my dreams, palms up the whole way. i don’t EVER want to give up my dreams to be comfortable. i want to dream until i am 104 years old.

because i think dreamers change the world. especially when those dreams bring Jesus to people.

[Lord let me dream big and go after them hard. keep my palms up and my ears open.]